Today was a rather useless day. Its most useful function was to prove that the exco of choir, are in fact, part of a not-very-extensive family tree and are extremely obnoxious at times.

I should have just gone to do PW instead.

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I tried to study chinese today. I really did. But as I saw the first word, I knew it defined me, and it clicked that whatever studying I could do in 2 days wouldn't be of much use.

I am, after all, an "a dou".

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For those who are simply studying to get past the A levels, I just watched an interview with Sir Charles Barkley on the Jay Leno Show, and while the remark was met with many laughs, I couldn't help but notice the truth in it.

"Watch out for the light at the end of the tunnel, it could be a train."

A heavy air swept across school today. Sad, really, seeing the number of parents in school. Which shows how strict the school is about promotion and stuff, especially with the new sylabus and stuff coming. Then again, it's an open secret that the school is an anal school, so quite frankly it shouldn't come as a surprise. As sad as it is, we can't exactly spend our whole lives giving out hugs to the less unfortunate, so theres only one thing we should do and thats to move on with our lives. I'm sure they'd want us to.

It's amazing how people can treat promos so lightly until someone finally caves in and fails to make the cut. Then they go into overexaggerated states of depression that don't exactly do anything but make themselves look more pathetic. Drama queens, prima donnas, call them what you want, these are the people who deserve crap more than anyone else. Bitching doesn't exactly get you places.

All right, scratch that paragraph. Unnecessary anger is never a good thing.

On a happier note, it looks like the largest class in the cohort will remain the largest class in the cohort. So what if we have to drop subjects, everything will work itself out in the end. Heck, I don't even feel like keeping all my subjects.

Smiles, everyone!

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Things get weirder everyday, as old candy gets repackaged, making it look all the more tempting.

The after-promo madness continues as people continue to get even more disgusting, or rather show their true selves since the facade of a mugger can now be ripped out and thrown away(not that they had it anyway), some, of course, more disgusting than others. How people can be so shameless intrigues me, believing they're elevating their all-important social status at the expense of others. Amidst all that poser laughter, spiked hair that looks the same pre-spiked hair, protectiveness of things that nobody wants anyway, probably lies people(note: more than 1) who above all desire attention to feel like they have done something with their miserable lives, want that extra feather in their cap, something extra to brag about, who despise their own heritage and want to upgrade their social status the industrial age of europe way. When all this is done, some people are going to be very angry. Some are going to be very sad, even crying. Some are just going to feel liberated. These people, of course, are the first timers. The newbies, who wanting to be ushered into adulthood prematurely, bite off more than they can chew(or suck). The despos, who wanting to be like their (tall, slim and unlike them not disgusting and/or ugly) friends who have commercialised a hangman's noose to look like a holy grail.

After things narrow down, the number of still-happy people are going to be very, very few.

Note : All this should, in case you have not noticed or are not in mj, be pointing to certain character(s) in particular, though it can always be widened by ommitting details at will(I shall not mention which). And if for one moment this gets mistaken for jealousy, I don't feel jealousy of horrible, weird, repulsive people.

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It is time to go do research, lest my PW group members accuse me for slacking(once again).

PW, while a grand waste of time, actually is pretty slacky. It's mostly talking and talking and more talking about stuff that is never gonna materialize anyway, and wasting a damn lot of paper in the process.

The only reason I can think of why MOE is doing this to us is so we can prepare to face the corporate bullshit we're sure to encounter in the future.

And for anyone who's wondering, I don't think PW should be slashed from the sylabus in the near future, not unless I become the head of MOE anytime soon.

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I stupidly stayed in school for an OGL interview today. The madness, it is. Granted, the interview felt rather ceremonial and redundant, but I was still sitting in my chair suppressing the urge to jump into other people's questions with stupid answers. With questions like "What would you do if there was a dispute between 2 houses?" How could you not be tempted to give a dumb answer like "Call CDC la"?

Anyhow, people i didn't expect to sign up did, while people I expect to didn't. Looks like orienatation is going to be complete nonsense next year regardless of whether I get in.

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With people all over having parent problems, I can't seem to figure out why mine are so anal about having to know every single thing I do(doesn't matter, I lie to them anyway) , and about giving them whatever respect they deserve just so they can feel like they did something with their miserable lives. I am not going to talk to them about anything remotely below skin-deep, since they're such idiots anyway. If I don't talk to them, they can't say I'm not being rude anyway. Giving birth to me doesn't make me your fucking slave, it was your choice and I could have been aborted anyway.

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And now
the weight of the world
feels like nothing

Not now anyway. I probably wouldn't notice it with so much other shit going on.

Open house yesterday, while tiring as heck due to my being split 3 ways, was pretty fun, since I wasn't exactly enthu about anything I could go missing mysteriously for hours and reappear equally mysteriously. Apart from laughing at people trying to catch the fish, I got scolded by VP Koh for making wisecracks with him,( "Tigerbarbs?" "No, Tigers don't barb." That's the last time I make such a stupid joke.) spent money on dumb-looking personalized items, and met a female version of Denys to boot. Must have been retribution for not wishing him happy birthday.

While fun, however, people easy on the eye were at a premium, much like VJC's open house. Sigh. Let's hope this isn't infectious across the batch.

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Having just dumped my savings into the bank not too long ago, I am feeling rather broke. At the same time, there is now an overwhelming need for cash. Now don't you just hate it when life fakes lemons and gives you bittergourds instead.

So, if you see me around, remember this entry, and have a heart. =)

When you're not sleeping the day before open house with so many things to do tomorrow, you know you're in trouble. Anyhoo, since I have nothing better to do, I shall now list some of my pet peeves!

1) The new friendster. Firstly, the function that allows you to see who viewed your profile completely defeats the purpose of using friendster to net-stalk people and get a good laugh out of seeing their narcissistic profiles, w3|rD language, and self-loving photos/neoprints. My inbox is also being clogged up by people who have "updated their friendster blog". I swear everytime I see one of those I feel like beating up someone. And then I delete them. How many people are actually your friends anyway. And please la. Friendster blogs are stupid.

Well now that I think about it there isn't much else that pisses me off, time to go do PW in a somewhat pacified state.

Sorry my darlings for not updating four entire days, but your hero has been busy facing the challenge of everyday life.

[/narcissism]

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It seems like my plan to retain and become a star floorball player upon staying back has failed miserably. Which means I have to take my A levels next year =( How in the world did I manage to get CCO(going to be BCE)? Shit happens I guess, but I should be grateful since my leg-on-table, music-to-full-blast, break-every-five-minutes style of studying actually managed to get me there. Maybe I should start trying this consistent hard work thing after all. Well, except for lit which has yet to make its way back from the god-forsaken coffee-filled land known as the MJC staff room yet. I hope it comes back fine.

I did, however, fail my chinese rather miserably. Which isn't new. What is new, however, is the low I've reached this time. I wonder if I could find someone that looks like me to take the exam in my place.

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Reyneth has managed to sucker me into joining the open house committee. It would still be okay, since the committee sits in air con rooms and does paperwork. But no, it was the LOGISTICs committee. Goodness me. Aside from having to deal with unreasonable people and a stingy teacher-in-charge who refuses to give us fringe benefits and looks like Jonathan Oh Version 2(to be short, a robot.), we get to go home later than everyone else!

On a side note, it's probably abit late but tml is MJ's open house, to all my darlings not in MJ, please do come!

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Is it possible to be too nice?

*pulls hair out* It's time to start sorting my life out. It's really irritating when some problems just don't go away no matter how you shirk it. And how sometimes saying no doesn't work.

On a completely different tangent, Chinese exams are coming! It's time to start watching chinese 9pm shows in a futile attempt to improve chinese(which obviously doesn't work).

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Vj's open house was nothing short of, well, ordinary. Either that, or I came too late to actually catch anything significant. The fact that everyone I actually knew simultaneously went missing(slacking in LTs/ hanging out with girls in weird corners) didn't actually help either. Seeing Andrew was a laught tho. He overbuffed and now looks like a dinosaur, the poor fool.

Let's hope MJ's is a bit better.

After promos, when you have nothing to do and nothing to study for, suddenly it seems like your life doesn't have much of a meaning. Ah well, I'll get out of it soon enough.

Yet, when you actually start studying, you wonder what you actually are studying for, and it seems like your life doesn't have much of a meaning.

Ah, the paradoxical nature of humans.

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On a side note, more and more things seem to be happening nowadays. In the flash of an eye, A levels are only a year away. Life is short. Events are happening in the blink of an eye, and you never really take notice of it until you actually pay attention purposely or accidentally, and some of these events make you think. I know I did, after I got over the initial shock.

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There was nothing he could do - but watch helplessly and brush past, expressionless. As much as he wanted to open his mouth and let the river within flow, he couldn't. He hated it when he felt this way. Somehow, the fact that someone was fitting into his pair of old shoes bothered him much. He couldn't bear too look.

Back to promos, and back to another screwed up paper. It could have been worse, I guess, but careless mistakes kick my ass.

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Maybe I should close this blog. There's a lack of issues.

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On a side note, the world is ending. In the past month or so, we've had 2 hurricanes, an earthquake and a bombing. There probably is more, given random fires happening around the region.

And while the world ends, what do the students, the seeds of future, do about it? By theory, the young and dynamic, the brave and the bold, should be thinking of ways to help the hostages/victims and saving the world, or planning for the next disaster to make a looting at least. Yet, what do we do? We bury our heads and look down, oblivious and uncaring to whatever is going on. We look at books. The cursed artefacts that determine our future. Yet, if the world holds no future, what's there to study for?

Now, promos have started. The dice have been rolled, and I have a sick feeling of what they're going to turn out to be.

Fucking Snake eyes.

*ahem*

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Blogger seems to have trouble with it's text box, so this entry is more than likely to come out half bold. Sorry, folks.

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Ah! It's ok again!

Anyway, as I was saying, I pretty much screwed up all my papers so far. If I even bothered to type it all out, I would take too long. So long story short, GP : Probably out of context, compre was never too good anyway. Econs : Ms Poh is going to slaughter me when she sees my essays. Lit : pages and pages and pages of nothing but pure, unadulterated, scribbled crap. Show it to Ghandi, maybe it's tamil.

And judging by what prepartions for History I've done, it now seems like I'm only going tomorrow to comfirm my attendance and perhaps garner a few sympathy marks. If I really was serious about it I wouldn't be sitting here now, dammit.

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As he only began to skim the surface, everyone was leaps and bounds ahead of him, mostly fully or at least half-immersed. Yet, watching everyone enjoy themselves, he could not bring himself to throw everything aside and just jump it, if only for the heck of it, to see what it was like.

He knew it. He was afraid.

Well, today has left me with a whole bunch of questions in mind, things that I'd rather not say here since I'd probably be banished to hell and back. So, in very vague terms...

1) What are the motives of some people? It hurts to think that the only possibility in mind is downright disgusting, and I would despise these people even more if what I think is true.
2) Why do other people seek to outright undermine these people?
3) Why the hell do I need to know about Market Failure 10 minutes before my GP paper?
4) What is the purpose of a guy's night out?
5) What course should I be taking in poly next year?
6) What does a person gain from spreading bad things about another person?

Well uh ask me for details, though I'd doubt many would be interested.

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Open house season is coming soon. Sure, not of much relevance to me since I'll probably be stuck at MJC's choir booth of all things, but still. Open house season is coming soon. Which means free gifts!

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But what if you expect lemonade, and life gives you raisins?

"There are 2 ways to achieve success : Do it like it means everything, or do it like it means nothing."

Let's do this shit, people.

3 days to promos, and I have yet to do a single thing about it. The way this is going, my answer sheets are going to be so white they'd make albinos look at Eddie Murphy. If you see my sanity anywhere, please send it back to me. I really miss it.

On a side note, I seem to find it impossible to concentrate on anything at all in the day, and there are just so many better things to do at night. My mind is just stuck right now.

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Further hampering my preperations are the fact that my father has decided to at this point of time, start suscribing to the movie channels on SCV. Underworld is quite good, I must say. Despite the inherent lack of much of a storyline.

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Things to do after promos :

1) Play play play!
2) Go on a movie marathon
3) Catch up on lost sleep
4) Start deciding which new handphone I want to get.

If you believe this, you're either stupid or daft.

Things to REALLY do after promos :

1) Arrange a meeting with Miss Lai to discuss retention
2) Finish WR and OP
3) Apologize to all my teachers for failing their subjects

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A day spent away from her - was a day spent away from the world -