I think I need more self-discipline. I did 3 questions of integration, got frustrated, and threw it to one side. And that's pretty much all the studying I did today. It's times like these when even the most retarded of things seems more important and interesting than whatever's on the desk.
On a brighter note, however, I just got 25/30 for a maths test. It's going to go a long way towards helping me not get retained. How I managed to do that without cheating, I have no idea. I probably shouldn't push my luck, though. Except for differentiation, everything else is going into my brain at glacial speeds.
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I'm this close to dropping history |--|. I really am. I don't understand a thing LVM is saying, I hate the way the history department has to be so anal about missing lessons when they should have pre-empted it anyway, I don't like being forced to write at lightning speeds, and it's quite unlikely that I'll be able to keep up the fluke O/D of the mid years. Also, dropping history would make my life a lot better. Then maybe I'll be able to get that S paper for econs/lit that I want. Lit does seem kinda far away though. Shakespeare is a bitch.
On the other hand, call me stubborn, but I don't like the idea of going down to 3 subjects. Almost as if I wasted my effort on History all the way. It's not like I'm not coping anyway. Just a few pulsing headaches every now and then, that's all.
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In this world, what you see never really is what you get. You never know when someone is bitching about you behind your back. Or rather, as I've recently found out, when someone is going to betray you and kick your ass while you're facing the other way. At this point of time, all the faith you put into that particular person becomes tainted, flushed into a black hole, never to surface again. I guess as people drift apart they become less secretive about what they know. Life's a bitch that way. People don't see you the same way after they know stuff.
Needless to say, it's going to be a while before I start trusting anybody again. After all, nobody can stab your back while it's against the wall. Even if I might have no route of escape, with "friends" like mine, running face-first into random walls are probably a better alternative.
And of course, after all this happens, seeing the bad side of people becomes a whole lot easier. I would start bitching now, but then this would probably get out, which is not good for me. See what I mean?
---
My mind's a blank right now.
On a brighter note, however, I just got 25/30 for a maths test. It's going to go a long way towards helping me not get retained. How I managed to do that without cheating, I have no idea. I probably shouldn't push my luck, though. Except for differentiation, everything else is going into my brain at glacial speeds.
---
I'm this close to dropping history |--|. I really am. I don't understand a thing LVM is saying, I hate the way the history department has to be so anal about missing lessons when they should have pre-empted it anyway, I don't like being forced to write at lightning speeds, and it's quite unlikely that I'll be able to keep up the fluke O/D of the mid years. Also, dropping history would make my life a lot better. Then maybe I'll be able to get that S paper for econs/lit that I want. Lit does seem kinda far away though. Shakespeare is a bitch.
On the other hand, call me stubborn, but I don't like the idea of going down to 3 subjects. Almost as if I wasted my effort on History all the way. It's not like I'm not coping anyway. Just a few pulsing headaches every now and then, that's all.
---
In this world, what you see never really is what you get. You never know when someone is bitching about you behind your back. Or rather, as I've recently found out, when someone is going to betray you and kick your ass while you're facing the other way. At this point of time, all the faith you put into that particular person becomes tainted, flushed into a black hole, never to surface again. I guess as people drift apart they become less secretive about what they know. Life's a bitch that way. People don't see you the same way after they know stuff.
Needless to say, it's going to be a while before I start trusting anybody again. After all, nobody can stab your back while it's against the wall. Even if I might have no route of escape, with "friends" like mine, running face-first into random walls are probably a better alternative.
And of course, after all this happens, seeing the bad side of people becomes a whole lot easier. I would start bitching now, but then this would probably get out, which is not good for me. See what I mean?
---
My mind's a blank right now.
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