If life before was a downward spiral, then life now must be the equivalent of a direct plunge downwards.

I mean, life does give you enough shit as it is, with unreasonable deadlines and demanding school schedules. But when life decides to single you out as the Garang one and decides to give you special treatment, it makes you feel helpless. Right now, I feel about as empowered as a moth trying to battle a forest fire.

Ann Koh cried in class on friday. It was strange as she talked about losing a friend not too long ago. While it's more or less typical of me to keep an expressionless look, all I could think of was Deja vu. I guess something did get through to me. Things just got put into perspective.

Everything is so surreal now. The smug belief that no matter what, there would be friends around to lift me up is now gone. I guess I've learnt to make full use and cherish what I have now, lest I wake up tomorrow and find it gone. I don't want to regret anything. Not anymore.