Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Make no mistake about it, I am in trouble. Heaps and heaps of trouble.

The work is piling up at such a fast rate that it's not even funny anymore. And it's not like in secondary school where you can miss a few lessons and still know what's going on. Right now, I'm clueless. Miss a few more lessons and I might as well not come to school anymore. I'm struggling to keep up with work. The lack of time isn't helping me out either. And history is just kicking my butt right now. While people are busy asking questions about history topics I'm sitting there blindly highlighting stuff without the faintest idea what's going on. I can't take it anymore. I just can't. Maybe I really have met insurmountable odds this time.

Choir is the reason I don't have time these days. I do realize that the SYF is coming soon and we do need to work hard. But I don't think my body can take much more of it. Day by day I feel a bit of my voice draining away. I think sickness will come soon after. Reaching home at 9 every day is not funny. Spending more than 14 hours a day in school is not funny.

Campaigning has been so hectic, I've half a mind to stop campaigning altogether. Maybe people will vote for me since I'm not irritating anybody.

Maybe I'm a fool, trying to bring about something that looks hopeless. Something so mediocre compared to the other things worrying me at the moment, yet I'm letting it distract me so much. I know I need to stop, and yet, I just can't.

It's only a matter of time before I go crazy and have a nervous breakdown. It's all I can do now to prolong it. Feels almost like cancer.

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