Shit shit shit. My singpass application got rejected. Just applied for a new one. Will visit the CPF building just to be kiasu on Monday.
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The opening ceremony was pretty stupid. They had to seat the student audience so close together that it took a good amount of fancy footwork just to walk through the path to your seat. Think if I walked like that now my soccer would become pretty good.
Now this would still be okay, but a tall idiot was sitting in front of me. About 1.8m. This would still be okay if he wasn't sitting up straight all the time. I couldn't even see when I tried to stretch my neck. This would still be okay since I should be able to lean to the side to evade his neck, but noooooooooo, he has to have mushroomy hair. You might as well have opened an umbrella in my face. If I tried to lean any more than I did I would be accused of molestation if I leaned to the left, or homosexuality if I leaned to the right.
There wasn't however, a whole lot to watch since 3/4 of the ceremony was made up of speeches by irrelevant people who act like they know the school when their actual concern is how fat their paychecks will be. Chairman of the School Advisory Committee? What bullshit. I can't believe he dares to talk about the Meridian experience when he hasn't even talked with 1% of the students at school. His Meridian experience probably involves sitting in an air-con office giving bad ideas on how to make the school better and pretending to work while watching animal porn or something. All while collecting a big fat paycheck. That asshole.
On a side note, the Minister of Defence has a huge nose. And I mean HUGE.
Anyway, the ceremony was pretty stupid since I couldnt see half of what was going on. All I heard was the choir, some random instruments, and some strange music which I think people were dancing too. Not to mention the audience's reception was whack. The food was gone in less than 10 minutes. Makes me wonder if Mok attended. And the place was really squeezy.
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Since I promised it, here is a guide how to kill yourself. Squeamish people, don't read.
Method #1: Self-slashing. Simply take a knife and slash yourself. Even though the wrist is the most popular place for this kind of suicide, slashing the neck is much faster. If you like messy and slow deaths, slashing is for you. Otherwise, go for...
Method #1.1: Self-stabbing. Best place to stab is the heart or neck. Not much faster, but still faster. It is also cleaner if you can get the knife to stay in the wound. My preferred method.
Method #1.2: Self-maiming. If you wanna be creative, you can cut patterns on your body before you die, and maybe get lucky enough to pull out some intestines. Also called disembowelment.
Method #2: Hanging. In my opinion, this is very frustrating but is also very clean. You need to adjust the noose to be the correct size, and have to get up to a reasonbale height to make it look impactful. While awesome if done correctly, it looks like crap if you don't. Not to mention you might not even die if you're a newbie. Do a few practice knots first.
Method #2.1: Choking. Very similar, except much easier to perform and much more stupid-looking, since you just end up on the ground with whatever you used to choke yourself.
Method #3: Jumping off a building. Make sure you choose a building that's crowded, but not too crowded so there will be enough people to see you, but not enough to break your fall in case you don't aim correctly, or the wind blows you in another direction. Best is normally a tall building in the office district ofSingapore. And when you jump, you're probably dead anyway, so take the opportunity to do some tricks in the air first. And try to land on your head, or the upper portion of your butt if you forgot to take off your motorcycle helmet.
Method #4: Drowning. The most wasteful method. It is also very clean, but gets very dirty if the police only find your body in a few days. Then they'll find more than just your body. Also, never ever try this at a swimming pool, you fool. There are lifeguards.
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Results out on monday. Will be at school to listen to Esther Lai beg us to stay on in MJC. Will be laughing inside as she does.
---
Other notes:
Mok can't spell, Andrew is angry at me, Bertrand is a flirt in SRJC according to WenHao, Azlyn told me to blackmail Suqina, and people are freaking out already.
---
The opening ceremony was pretty stupid. They had to seat the student audience so close together that it took a good amount of fancy footwork just to walk through the path to your seat. Think if I walked like that now my soccer would become pretty good.
Now this would still be okay, but a tall idiot was sitting in front of me. About 1.8m. This would still be okay if he wasn't sitting up straight all the time. I couldn't even see when I tried to stretch my neck. This would still be okay since I should be able to lean to the side to evade his neck, but noooooooooo, he has to have mushroomy hair. You might as well have opened an umbrella in my face. If I tried to lean any more than I did I would be accused of molestation if I leaned to the left, or homosexuality if I leaned to the right.
There wasn't however, a whole lot to watch since 3/4 of the ceremony was made up of speeches by irrelevant people who act like they know the school when their actual concern is how fat their paychecks will be. Chairman of the School Advisory Committee? What bullshit. I can't believe he dares to talk about the Meridian experience when he hasn't even talked with 1% of the students at school. His Meridian experience probably involves sitting in an air-con office giving bad ideas on how to make the school better and pretending to work while watching animal porn or something. All while collecting a big fat paycheck. That asshole.
On a side note, the Minister of Defence has a huge nose. And I mean HUGE.
Anyway, the ceremony was pretty stupid since I couldnt see half of what was going on. All I heard was the choir, some random instruments, and some strange music which I think people were dancing too. Not to mention the audience's reception was whack. The food was gone in less than 10 minutes. Makes me wonder if Mok attended. And the place was really squeezy.
---
Since I promised it, here is a guide how to kill yourself. Squeamish people, don't read.
Method #1: Self-slashing. Simply take a knife and slash yourself. Even though the wrist is the most popular place for this kind of suicide, slashing the neck is much faster. If you like messy and slow deaths, slashing is for you. Otherwise, go for...
Method #1.1: Self-stabbing. Best place to stab is the heart or neck. Not much faster, but still faster. It is also cleaner if you can get the knife to stay in the wound. My preferred method.
Method #1.2: Self-maiming. If you wanna be creative, you can cut patterns on your body before you die, and maybe get lucky enough to pull out some intestines. Also called disembowelment.
Method #2: Hanging. In my opinion, this is very frustrating but is also very clean. You need to adjust the noose to be the correct size, and have to get up to a reasonbale height to make it look impactful. While awesome if done correctly, it looks like crap if you don't. Not to mention you might not even die if you're a newbie. Do a few practice knots first.
Method #2.1: Choking. Very similar, except much easier to perform and much more stupid-looking, since you just end up on the ground with whatever you used to choke yourself.
Method #3: Jumping off a building. Make sure you choose a building that's crowded, but not too crowded so there will be enough people to see you, but not enough to break your fall in case you don't aim correctly, or the wind blows you in another direction. Best is normally a tall building in the office district ofSingapore. And when you jump, you're probably dead anyway, so take the opportunity to do some tricks in the air first. And try to land on your head, or the upper portion of your butt if you forgot to take off your motorcycle helmet.
Method #4: Drowning. The most wasteful method. It is also very clean, but gets very dirty if the police only find your body in a few days. Then they'll find more than just your body. Also, never ever try this at a swimming pool, you fool. There are lifeguards.
---
Results out on monday. Will be at school to listen to Esther Lai beg us to stay on in MJC. Will be laughing inside as she does.
---
Other notes:
Mok can't spell, Andrew is angry at me, Bertrand is a flirt in SRJC according to WenHao, Azlyn told me to blackmail Suqina, and people are freaking out already.
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