I've actually spent the week studying, and guess what?

Exams still promise to be a roll of the dice. ohshitohshit

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Clubbing isn't all it's hyped up to be. Basically, what happens is that...

1) Everyone dresses up whatever they think will get them laid that night. Which is strange, because if there were clothes that produced sex, people would be wearing them all the time, except for the actual sex itself, but even that's somewhere I shall not explore. Then, you go to the club, and pay your admission fee. Kinda like an amusement park, just that the rides require no harnesses. Unless you're into that sort of thing *ahem*

[1.5) This doesn't happen all the time, but most people actually start out sober. They probably just sit there with a group of friends, yakking away and talking big blah blah blah,staying in their safe social circle while they still can. They won't dance, or even make eye contact with the opposite sex, not yet anyway. All they do is talk about it. Yeah, you know who you are. Of course, after a few drinks, when people are winded up and not really thinking straight, if at all, the really stupid part begins.]

2) Dancing! If you think you're a good dancer because you go dancing at clubs often, think again. Why do you think it's so dark in there? Atmosphere, my foot. Turn the lights on and the music off, and just try to tell me you're not doing a cruel imitation of a ragman having spasms. Not to mention half the people are actually at least semi-drunk by now. It's just gesticulating, don't glorify it. Besides, nobody notices the actual "dancing". It does of course, lead to...

[2.1) Of course, bad dancing isn't always the fault of the *ahem*dancers. DJs at clubs nowadays have a habit of intermixing songs so that no song actually finishes before the next song starts, so you could be really feeling the beat for one song, then whoops! So much for Snoop Dogg, you're now gyrating to that Numa Numa song. In fact, it's probably the height of coolness for DJs to mesh songs together in such a way that no song actually starts or finishes, so you'd get Nelly rapping Pussycat Dolls lyrics to a Linkin Park beat.]

3) Groping/grinding/freaking/other forms of contact. Which, of course, even if you do mean not to get laid, is going to happen anyway if you're anywhere close to the "dance" floor. Of course, this happens both ways. Either a guy "bumps accidentally" into a girl, or she decides it would be a good idea to thrust her body into his crotch for no apparent reason. Then again, liquor does that to people.

[3.1) In more ways than one, mating is much like a hunting game. Not that it's news. Throw in that crocodile hunter guy(yes him again) and we'd have a heck of a show. "Crikey, Aw, would you look at those two! Those are some hopped up buggers! Now, I'm going to get inbetween them and try to stick my finger where the sun don't shine! This is very dangerous, so don't try it at home!"]

3.2) Of course, there are people who actually get laid. Before this happens, the guy and the girl, who we presume to be interested in each other already, begin to *gasp* talk. In the animal world, this is pretty much the same as sniffing each other's butts. The girl is trying to assess the guy, while the guy tries his best not to say whatever screws him out of getting laid, which ironically are the first things that come to his mind. ]

4) Lather, rinse and repeat until everyone is piss-drunk and stinky, or laid.

Nope, I am -never- going to a club again. Thankfully, a friend told me of the pitfalls so I could watch out for them. And for those wondering, I left within an hour after deciding it was a monumental waste of time.

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Pah, life is getting boring.