Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I seem to have an aura around me that tells strangers to approach me. Out of hundreds of people walking down the street at a certain time, I always get to be the lucky bastard who gets asked for directions, buggered to buy something, pressured to join mormon, pressured for donations etc. Which kind of gets irritating sometimes. And occasionally in a language I don't understand either.

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Choir has officially lost its appeal. Slightly subpar committee? Fine. Horrendous division? I'm ok with it. What promises to be lousy hotel conditions? Bring it on. Singing National Day songs for the school? Nuh-uh. It's not like national day songs are really hard to sing. Any tone deaf idiot could probably churn out a decent rendition of My People My Home.

I just want this to be over soon. Granted, the choir did get suckered into it by the horrible school admin. I mean even in VS the students didn't humiliate themselves that way. Well other than Nicholas in sec 2 anyway.

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With every passing day I spend in school, in Singapore, in this world, in this wretched life, I feel myself becoming more and more of a misfit. I don't gossip much, don't express myself much, most of my jokes freeze hell over and then make ice cream of it, I don't worship God, I am of a minority gender, I zone out most of the time, I'm not cheena, not good looking, and not charismatic. I often find myself at converational standstills, and I see more to life than good grades, a good social life, and a pretty girlfriend. I often find myself staring helplessly as events unfold, unable to do a thing about it. I think one day I'll either die of frustration or end up flaring up at someone. It's only a matter of time.

I guess I'll live and die a hermit. The world is a bitch, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

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6:28 PM  

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