You know how when you walk out of an exam hall thinking the paper was fine, only to have everyone else moaning and groaning about how hard it was? You know how you sometimes feel like everyone around you is incredibly dumb? You know how it isn't better to say anything under such circumstances?
I think that's how the people around me feel.
Let me just say that I don't go into exams with the intention of failing ; It's not the kind of twisted sado/maso/playdough chism you think it is. I don't derive enjoyment from being way behind on the information curve from everyone else. My dreams don't involve showing up for classes with my pants down or not there at all. It's just that in times of utter hopelessness one cant help but laugh.
Of course, when I miss that elusive passing grade by one mark, count on me to be frantically searching for it. I'd search under the table, on the floor, above my head. I'd do that Bugs Bunny routine where he lifts up rocks and searches holes in trees for stuff that cannot possibly fit there. It would probably kill whatever token sense of humour I had in the first place, which means that no matter what happened I'd be left wanting.
This probably means I should be studying harder, but with so many distractions around, pleasant or not, it's getting really hard.
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In life, we'll probably all have a bunch of regrets : That girl you never asked out, the guy you rejected, that goldfish you fed too much, that one test you didn't study for, that child you named Suri(what a terrible name!), that bad sequel to Dumb and Dumber, not a good movie in the first place, that you directed.
So how do people deal with regret, among other negative emotions? Some people resort to infernal screaming at every single opportunity as a method to relieve the proverbial weight on the shoulders, trading it for a strain on the throat. Of course, this doesn't get you everything you want, but that doesn't stop people from trying incessantly, which gets on my nerves and intraveinously pumps anger-inducing drugs into my system.
I, however, straddle the thin, pixelated line between being a bottler or a leaker. I try to keep things in as far as possible, letting small actions be my course of relief. When that fails, however, the tension builds in my blood and you see those popping vein lines that consist of three strokes commonly found on anime/comic characters. So when you do see me in a lunatic fit, screaming at the top of my lungs, it's probably for a good reason. That, or no reason at all.
The reason this tends to be easier is that people who scream and shout are deemed by the supposedly liberal Singapore society as "weird", "crazy", "siao" and "trying to be like Adam Sandler". And in a cramped world like Singapore the expanses of the world consist mostly of society, so anyone who feels like ranting and raving in public would at the same time feel like the whole universe is pointing a finger away from that path.
So, uh....yeah.
I think that's how the people around me feel.
Let me just say that I don't go into exams with the intention of failing ; It's not the kind of twisted sado/maso/playdough chism you think it is. I don't derive enjoyment from being way behind on the information curve from everyone else. My dreams don't involve showing up for classes with my pants down or not there at all. It's just that in times of utter hopelessness one cant help but laugh.
Of course, when I miss that elusive passing grade by one mark, count on me to be frantically searching for it. I'd search under the table, on the floor, above my head. I'd do that Bugs Bunny routine where he lifts up rocks and searches holes in trees for stuff that cannot possibly fit there. It would probably kill whatever token sense of humour I had in the first place, which means that no matter what happened I'd be left wanting.
This probably means I should be studying harder, but with so many distractions around, pleasant or not, it's getting really hard.
---
In life, we'll probably all have a bunch of regrets : That girl you never asked out, the guy you rejected, that goldfish you fed too much, that one test you didn't study for, that child you named Suri(what a terrible name!), that bad sequel to Dumb and Dumber, not a good movie in the first place, that you directed.
So how do people deal with regret, among other negative emotions? Some people resort to infernal screaming at every single opportunity as a method to relieve the proverbial weight on the shoulders, trading it for a strain on the throat. Of course, this doesn't get you everything you want, but that doesn't stop people from trying incessantly, which gets on my nerves and intraveinously pumps anger-inducing drugs into my system.
I, however, straddle the thin, pixelated line between being a bottler or a leaker. I try to keep things in as far as possible, letting small actions be my course of relief. When that fails, however, the tension builds in my blood and you see those popping vein lines that consist of three strokes commonly found on anime/comic characters. So when you do see me in a lunatic fit, screaming at the top of my lungs, it's probably for a good reason. That, or no reason at all.
The reason this tends to be easier is that people who scream and shout are deemed by the supposedly liberal Singapore society as "weird", "crazy", "siao" and "trying to be like Adam Sandler". And in a cramped world like Singapore the expanses of the world consist mostly of society, so anyone who feels like ranting and raving in public would at the same time feel like the whole universe is pointing a finger away from that path.
So, uh....yeah.
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