Great. Wayne Rooney just had to go score a hat-trick. I'm not touching any sports-related articles even with a ten-foot pole anytime in the near future. It'll be pages and pages of Rooney Worship anyway, them reporters would probably give him a blow job while they're at it if they could. There is no way he was the reason behind England's World Cup slump(though I don't see how Englishmen can be so confident about it every time a majoc tournament approaches anyway). Next thing you'll know, he'll be England's foreign ambassador, the next artificially "packaged" Calvin Klein model, the man behind JFK's assassination and the leader of the Black Parade.
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One of the most enlightening, interesting experiences one can have in life isn't that of falling madly in love, barreling down a hill in loose rollerblades or imbibing yourself with your first mind-altering substances. I've done two out of three. While these activities can be immensely memorable, even if the memory does culminate in an extremely blur picture and an eyeful of stars, they only provide you one side of the picture. Like people like to say, there are two sides to every coin, two sides to every story, two slices of bread in every sandwich, two legs in every pair of pants, two knobs on every door and two paths down every split end. With such activities, you only see your end of the situation, and never get to see it in multiple lights, even with the big disco ball hanging over your head. I think receiving advice can be both entertaining and enlightening.
Obviously, there are people who would go about debating the finer points of the matter with me. I don't deny that receiving advice can be a stupendously mind-numbing affair, when you sit in a boardroom watching powerpoint presentations, with every keystroke being dog-tagged with an annoying noise and graphics zooming and spinning in from diagonals I didn't even know existed. Still, one of the most revealing and hence defining moments of life comes when we seek the counsel of others. Before you even dare to think I'm putting on a pretentious air of some sort, let me just say that this isn't some sort of Sophocles multiplied by da Vinci divided by Yoda to the exponential power of Charles Darwin type of high-level philosophical truth of life ; It's more like something you'd find on a bad blog, a horoscope column of an unreliable newspaper, an insert of a fortune cookie or an insert of the Cookie Monster's lines other than "COOKIES".
Look at it this way. Even though chances are that I'm alluding to an incident where I didn't heed good advice and got sorely punished for it, such as watching that episode of Anamaniacs, you're technically reading advice right now. Or at least, were meant to read advice until the progress of that activity was bogged down by low-level off-the-ball verbosity that served to lead you in circles rather than make you believe there was some higher-order assessment involved. We get an awful lot of advice in our life. What makes it fun is how it almost always is different, since it comes from different mouths with different stories and differently demented minds behind them. Some of it is common sence, some of it is hard-to-uncover truths and the rest is most often completely incomprehensible suggestion.
I get a lot of advice in my life. When you tell people stuff, most often advice is what comes back. Expect me to be quietly vocal about it. Telling someone isn't always the best way out but it beats disposing of the problem where most of my trash ends up(hint:desk). If you give me an essay to do as homework, be prepared for me to whine about it to some length, probably throwing in slanderous comments while I'm at it. If I blindly pin the tail on the proverbial donkey and do decently during an exam, be prepared to listen to me call myself the stupidest, luckiest person in the world. If I hate TKGS girls I will say I hate TKGS girls, but will more often than not say it in a less hostile manner ; There's a thin line between honest and stupid. If you get me a gift some three months late, I will say it's the thought that counts until I get back to my Desperate-Housewives boredom-savaged life of gossip with my peers.
One of the more relevant fields I've gotten advice on is how to "play the field". Apparently, to get the girl you need to do a range of things, including be nice, be yourself, be a bastard, be a jerk, be unapologetic, be spontaneous, keep her guessing, say what she wants to hear(no matter how much she may say otherwise), be stable and be proactive. Any of these may or may not work, as they come from a variety of sources, some current, some reliable and some currently reliable, including an Indian plumber, a 65-year-old uncle, a JC student about to take his A levels, a teenage girl, a former tennis coach who quit JC life to play tennis, an eternally young fellow who happens to be in PES F, an army regular and already-attached females of various ages. Barring the Dalai Lama, the Brothers Grimm, Ace Ventura and Hermoine Granger I think I've gotten most of my bases covered, with things I may or may not have needed to know.
They say when people start to do something, productivity follows a convex curve which plateaus at some point ; For the most part this is true. I just don't seem to have the curve today, and it's not because I've started doing crunches. Which is why I better quit while I'm ahead, and that, my friends, is good advice.
---
One of the most enlightening, interesting experiences one can have in life isn't that of falling madly in love, barreling down a hill in loose rollerblades or imbibing yourself with your first mind-altering substances. I've done two out of three. While these activities can be immensely memorable, even if the memory does culminate in an extremely blur picture and an eyeful of stars, they only provide you one side of the picture. Like people like to say, there are two sides to every coin, two sides to every story, two slices of bread in every sandwich, two legs in every pair of pants, two knobs on every door and two paths down every split end. With such activities, you only see your end of the situation, and never get to see it in multiple lights, even with the big disco ball hanging over your head. I think receiving advice can be both entertaining and enlightening.
Obviously, there are people who would go about debating the finer points of the matter with me. I don't deny that receiving advice can be a stupendously mind-numbing affair, when you sit in a boardroom watching powerpoint presentations, with every keystroke being dog-tagged with an annoying noise and graphics zooming and spinning in from diagonals I didn't even know existed. Still, one of the most revealing and hence defining moments of life comes when we seek the counsel of others. Before you even dare to think I'm putting on a pretentious air of some sort, let me just say that this isn't some sort of Sophocles multiplied by da Vinci divided by Yoda to the exponential power of Charles Darwin type of high-level philosophical truth of life ; It's more like something you'd find on a bad blog, a horoscope column of an unreliable newspaper, an insert of a fortune cookie or an insert of the Cookie Monster's lines other than "COOKIES".
Look at it this way. Even though chances are that I'm alluding to an incident where I didn't heed good advice and got sorely punished for it, such as watching that episode of Anamaniacs, you're technically reading advice right now. Or at least, were meant to read advice until the progress of that activity was bogged down by low-level off-the-ball verbosity that served to lead you in circles rather than make you believe there was some higher-order assessment involved. We get an awful lot of advice in our life. What makes it fun is how it almost always is different, since it comes from different mouths with different stories and differently demented minds behind them. Some of it is common sence, some of it is hard-to-uncover truths and the rest is most often completely incomprehensible suggestion.
I get a lot of advice in my life. When you tell people stuff, most often advice is what comes back. Expect me to be quietly vocal about it. Telling someone isn't always the best way out but it beats disposing of the problem where most of my trash ends up(hint:desk). If you give me an essay to do as homework, be prepared for me to whine about it to some length, probably throwing in slanderous comments while I'm at it. If I blindly pin the tail on the proverbial donkey and do decently during an exam, be prepared to listen to me call myself the stupidest, luckiest person in the world. If I hate TKGS girls I will say I hate TKGS girls, but will more often than not say it in a less hostile manner ; There's a thin line between honest and stupid. If you get me a gift some three months late, I will say it's the thought that counts until I get back to my Desperate-Housewives boredom-savaged life of gossip with my peers.
One of the more relevant fields I've gotten advice on is how to "play the field". Apparently, to get the girl you need to do a range of things, including be nice, be yourself, be a bastard, be a jerk, be unapologetic, be spontaneous, keep her guessing, say what she wants to hear(no matter how much she may say otherwise), be stable and be proactive. Any of these may or may not work, as they come from a variety of sources, some current, some reliable and some currently reliable, including an Indian plumber, a 65-year-old uncle, a JC student about to take his A levels, a teenage girl, a former tennis coach who quit JC life to play tennis, an eternally young fellow who happens to be in PES F, an army regular and already-attached females of various ages. Barring the Dalai Lama, the Brothers Grimm, Ace Ventura and Hermoine Granger I think I've gotten most of my bases covered, with things I may or may not have needed to know.
They say when people start to do something, productivity follows a convex curve which plateaus at some point ; For the most part this is true. I just don't seem to have the curve today, and it's not because I've started doing crunches. Which is why I better quit while I'm ahead, and that, my friends, is good advice.
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